I had an email yesterday from a very concerned member of my totally free Christian dating service www.fusion101.com. The person said she had read the profile of another member and said that (my paraphrase); “he seemed hard and insensitive and not even Christian” (she actually used slightly harsher terms to describe this person).

Please note, unknown to me she had not actually spoken to him on email or phone at this point, but I was quite alarmed and wanted to check the profile and if necessary block his account as I always do when I run across suspect members or people using the site for means other than it was intended – to bring real single Christians together – until that was, I looked him up and realised there might be a bit more to this.

As it happened, I happened to have spoken to this member she reported on the phone at length some six months before on the telephone, having blocked his account after having a similar complaint about his profile. Interesting I thought; she has not spoken to him and nothing makes sense. I have spoken to him – at length – and to me his one ‘harsh’ profile makes quite a lot of sense – granted – even if a little odd.

Yes it was unusual but he was sincere and he was as far as I could tell – a Christian. I quizzed him on his belief in Christ. After a long conversation about many things I finally came to the conclusion that yes his profile was ‘black and white’ – he was incredibly intelligent – a lecturer (almost too much so for his own good) and simply wanted to meet someone who also though very – very deeply about life and Christianity.

He even stated on his profile that his profile may seem harsh – but that he wanted to find a similar person and didn’t want to waste his or other people’s time. A problem we all want to avoid as single Christians who have enough trouble meeting people already, let alone going down lots of blind alleys.

Anyhow – I emailed this lady and said perhaps she should contact him and ask him himself what the reason for his ‘harsh’ profile was, half expecting her to come back and say yes, he was not a nice person and half expecting her to… well say the opposite. Then, something interesting happened. Here is her email I have kept anonymous to me;

“Dear Edward,

Well after chatting some more with this guy I find him intriguing. He is coming across more polite and kinder than I originally thought. Yes you are right he is super intelligent – well he must be if he chose to contact me – only kidding 🙂

Funny how nothing on my profile met his criteria yet he chose to contact me and pay me a couple of compliments. I find him fascinating, his views – I guess that’s the side of me that enjoys learning about people, their journey and experiences that has minded their personality.

Not sure if I find him husband material but certainly interesting on discussion points.”

Give Christians a chance – we are after all, fish out of water

So this is what I mean when I said; give Christian girls and especially guys a chance. The Bible says God’s (real) people are a peculiar people and it wasn’t wrong!.. but most of us have hearts in the right place. It’s hard trying to live in the world but not be of it, and it can creates tensions people who are very comfortable in the world don’t have to deal with – but you would soon see them if they tried to follow Christ.

A real life example of bad judgement of someone’s character based on looking at outward signs only

Here’s an example I want to give you about myself – that way I won’t embarrass anyone else! My girlfriend – hopefully soon to be my wife – didn’t much like me when she met me – but the truth was I was hugely stressed with family business and fusion101 site was giving me such a headache and did not even want to go on a date – when she met me again 2 years later she realised I was quite a nice person just struggling with life, so some people need a bit of time to show their colours good or bad 🙂