No I’m not talking about some dreadful date you went on, I’m talking about the marriage where there are two people in charge of the same aspects – I’m afraid it will fail. It’s the same with any business, a school, or any team, and a marriage is a team where the ‘two become ONE flesh’ in spirit – it doesn’t mean the two become one manager. But it’s not about who’s in charge.. please read on.

It’s why God insists one person must be in charge (in all the right ways and not worldly ways – I’ll explain as I go). But why does God appoint the man head? Well apart from the obvious – that he is physically stringer (in most cases:) someone has to lead.

It may be old fashioned, but I promise you that from a practical standpoint alone – two captains cannot steer a ship, and if they both insist on trying it will likely end up on the rocks. However there must be some compromise and sharing.

It may be that one partner steers one aspect – and the other another aspect – but don’t both try and steer the same aspect. Sure – discus the best course of action and let your partner warn you of the impending rocks, but two cooks working on the same soufflé will indeed spoil the dessert.

A creature with two heads is a freak

So what does this mean for men? Does it mean he has a ticket to lord it over his woman, or a ticket to bully the woman to accept his stupid ideas – nope – hopefully when that happens she will resist until he sees sense.

But ultimately he needs to become a man and step up to the plate to take on the extra responsibilities that leadership takes. Ultimately deep down most women want a leader – it’s a natural response. There are always exceptions, where circumstances mean roles are reversed in some areas for a season – that’s life.

So summary;

men
Step up to the plate and find out by looking at Christ what a man is. Be responsible, work and look after your family unto death! Be open to correction from your wife who often will have spiritual eyes where you have blind spots. Be aware being the head means you have to be prepared to give your life for her and your kids.

Women
Allow your man to lead and don’t be afraid to let him know (in a kind way) when he may be going off the track. Don’t let him bully you and always praise him when he does well and right. Don’t exasperate him when he messes up but encourage him.