Are You Dating for The RIGHT Reasons?
It may sound like a daft question but we often date for the wrong reasons. We date because we are lonely – well actually that is not such a bad reason according to God; “it is not good for man to be alone” however, many people date because they are on the rebound, they are desperate (different from plain lonely), they are looking for extra-marital activity (you know what we mean), some fun, something to do, someone to complete their lack of self esteem, someone to slave over them because they are lazy, someone to pay the bills etc etc.
And so, as we all know there are a hundred good reasons to look for a date eg. you wan’t to get married should be your main reason – but there are a thousand bad reasons why someone wants to date.
So make sure you’ve sorted the major issues in your life that you can fix – guys you have a job right? It may sound daft but if you haven’t why not?.. we assume you have two legs and two arms (if you have not then you are excused) so this is plain lazy and what girl – especially a Christian girl deserves to be with a lazy guy?!
Are you dating someone already?
Then you need to leave here and resolve that relationship BEFORE you start looking for another date. Many Christians – especially guys just don’t seem to get this – it’s not fair to date someone while you are dating someone else – we are not secular – we are Christians and need to treat our brothers and sisters – all God’s beloved children and we must treat each other with the UTMOST care and respect!
Are you prepared to stay married through thick and thin?
It’s become very popular these days for pastors to teach that divorce is OK (because otherwise they would lose more than half of their congregation and income) and it is not OK – why? Because The Bible says; God hates divorce and the Jesus backs up this sentiment in the most serious tone when he says; “Moses permitted you to divorce but it was not that way in the beginning.” In other words divorce is not for an option and therefore marriage is not for boys and girls but real men and women!
No you don’t have ANY reason to divorce your spouse (separation from a violent individual is a different issue but not an excuse to divorce – sorry but we know this is what Jesus meant because his discipled replied; “(if divorce is not an option) then surely it is better not to marry!” – and this sentiment is very understandable – I mean who wants to be joined to a horrid person!? In other words – marriage is an unselfish act for serious people who make serious decisions only) so MAKE sure you are ready and you marry someone you are prepared to stick with even when they get old, grey and unlikeable! God never divorced His church when he has every reason to do so!
Now if you are already divorced that’s a different matter between you and God. Give it to Him it may be that you need to go back to your spouse (as impossible as that my seem) or remain single as the Bible commands.
Are you clean? Yes men and women – it’s a must! Cleanliness really is next to Godliness where it is possible since God has given you an incredible vessel (your body) so what’s up that you won’t look after it? Di it for God if you won’t take care of yourself for you!
Are you angry or have unresolved issues or people to forgive?
Men and women too.. have you forgiven past people and hurts? Don’t take anger into a new relationship and make sure you give every new person a chance to prove that men and women are not all the same (because they are not!) if you have been hurt. Be gentle, patient and care about the person you are meeting’s well-being – not just gratifying yourself and tending to your own insecurities and needs.
Are you looking for just a friend or a spouse?
If it’s only the former and you have no real desire to potentially get married to one of your dates then do not start dating and leave this site now! (we mean that nicely). However, if you are definitely looking to get married and you want to make new male and female friends and see if there is potential for you to become good friends and then get married then great!
Are you Considering Dating an Unbeliever?
Don’t! Do not date unbelievers under any circumstance as The Bible commands; do not be unequally yolked! I will add; because it will end in tears! Many people have tried this and unless you are singing from the same novel, you are very likely to run into trouble as you have a different set of rules to go by.
This will always cause problems that are much harder for the more strict Christian to deal with than your fellow unbeliever who will think nothing of up and offing should things not be going their way and will have much more ‘me’ centred take on dating and marriage.
