Now the answer to this is very simple – but because of the world we live in it’s become very complex. So this is going to take a bit of time to explain so bear with me. I am not going to tell you what to do – just take a look at the issues from God’s viewpoint (the Bible) and let you make up your own mind.
50 years ago many non-Christians would not kiss before marriage
The fact is, sex is not a black and white issue – as much as we would like it to be, so that we could be free to mess about and experiment and say “well we didn’t have sex”. We think that petting without having full sex will cause no harm to ourselves and others.
What I mean is, people like to define sex as only the act of intercourse. Well in a way it is, but everything that leads up to this is specifically designed by God to end with intercourse. So in that sense, any form of physical intimacy with a view to experiencing pleasure and leading to intercourse is sex. So sex is really a sliding scale that starts with a kiss, and ends well… we all know where.
Made in the image of God – ‘our’ body is actually His temple
Now, if we weren’t made in the image of God, and we were just meant to wallow around on the level of animals (remember they do not have the same type of deep and advanced emotional makeup as humans and cannot think in the same rational or irrational way), and fool about and move from partner to partner for either procreational reasons or just pure gratification, then this would be fine – who cares?… what difference does it make.
The problem is, we ARE made in the image of God. Not only that, The Bible specifically says God wants to dwell in us – and that our bodies are His temple. That’s serious!
We shouldn’t corrupt or steal something pure that was meant for someone else
Add to this the just as serious issue of the fact that God looks upon sex as a physical and spiritual joining of body mind and spirit – becoming truly one. You can’t get away from it – the real ‘marriage’ – the real joining and becoming one, happens when the man and woman come together physically – it’s then they become one spiritually – the physical is the ‘glue’ that is never meant to be pulled apart – and in fact cannot be without causing serious harm to spouses and children if they are around.
Playing around with someone you have no intention of marrying is stealing and corrupting the great gift of sex within marriage from them, and their future spouse
Now it’s crystal clear in the Bible that we are only meant to have one spouse for LIFE (we’re meant to rise above the animal kingdom in preparation for God giving us back and restoring our etherial bodies we lost in Eden?) So right off the bat we can now see why it’s so important to remain pure.
God’s forgiveness is needed, but it’s no license to sin
Having said all that – staying pure or celibate or avoiding fooling about without full sex is no easy task in today’s society where everyone and everything tells us to do the opposite – and that to stay celibate is narrow minded and daft and silly.
So it requires resolve at the START – BEFORE you go into a relationship to explain to the other person they will not get sex – any physical with marriage. Of course holding hands is no sin but as I mentioned one needs to be aware sex is a sliding scale and it’s designed not to be stopped easily so Christian relationships require a strong will and resolve to please God – and crucially not steal something that is actually meant for someone else.
